Elevate Your Marriage: 3 Daily Habits Backed by Science

It can be easy to feel so bogged down with energy-draining problems in your relationship that you completely lose touch with how you feel.

Sometimes marriage can feel like an endless babysitting gig with “that person you use to date”, and your only hope is to stick it out to the end.

But deep down, you know it’s actually way more than that! It’s about connection, growth, and becoming the ultimate versions of yourselves.

Imagine connecting with your spouse on a level so deep that it’s like your souls are performing a synchronized dance, moving in perfect harmony to a melody only you can hear.

What would that look like… sound like… and feel like to you?

How would that connection affect all that you do?

Marriage throughout history

Historically, society has evolved in its view of the roles and functions of marriage.

In ancient times, marriage was seen as a practical and economic relationship. Like a medieval Linkedin, marriages were arranged to ensure social stability and manage inheritance.

Our view of marriage evolved through the years as society learned to value autonomy and emotional fulfillment. It is only recently (in the past century or two) that marrying for love has become our primary goal.

Today, we are privileged to live in a time that emphasizes love, emotional connection, and goals. We’ve made huge strides in the psychology of human connection and by applying that psychology, you have a much greater chance of achieving a life-long romance.

Change Your Thinking

In 1962, Aaron Beck, a 41-year-old psychotherapist at the University of Pennsylvania, took a sabbatical to explore his budding beliefs about the cognitive model. His research on Cognitive Theory is the foundation of most modern therapy and life-coaching techniques.

Beck proposed that your feelings come from the meaning you give an experience, not the experience itself.

What does that mean for you and your marriage?

It means that by changing how you think about your marriage, you automatically change how you experience your marriage.

It’s like swapping out those grumpy glasses for a rose-colored pair.

By making slight shifts in your thinking — spending more time thinking about what you like about them than what you dislike about them —suddenly, you find yourself falling for your spouse all over again.